Rejections come in many forms – some are direct, some are sugar-coated. And then there’s this masterpiece from a Chinese economic journal:
“We have read your manuscript with boundless delight. If we were to publish your paper, it would be impossible for us to publish any work of lower standard. And as it is unthinkable that in the next thousand years we shall see its equal, we are, to our regret, compelled to return your divine composition and to beg you a thousand times to overlook our short sight and timidity.”
This isn’t just a rejection – it’s an art form. Over-the-top flattery and self-deprecation, and just enough absurdity to make you wonder… are they serious?
But beyond the poetic flourishes, what makes this even more amusing is the cultural depth behind it.
1️⃣ A love for “A Thousand”
The word thousand appears twice in just a few lines, and it’s no accident. The number holds special meaning in Chinese culture, often used to express grandeur or rarity. Take 一掷千金 (to throw away a thousand pieces of gold) – a phrase used to describe extravagant spending. Or 千载难逢 (an opportunity that comes once in a thousand years), emphasising something so rare that missing it would be tragic.
So when the rejection letter says it’ll take a thousand years to see a manuscript of equal brilliance, it’s not just an exaggeration – it’s a very Chinese exaggeration.
2️⃣ Politeness as a Weapon
Of course, disguising an insult behind excessive politeness isn’t exclusive to China. The British, in particular, have perfected the art form. Ever heard “With all due respect…”? That’s most definitely not respect – it’s a warning shot. And “You must come for tea sometime” roughly translates to “I have no intention of ever inviting you over.”
It’s the kind of politeness that makes you want to throw something. (Preferably a biscuit, to keep things civil.)
3️⃣ Why it Sounds so Familiar
It is oddly recognisable, almost like we’ve heard a version of it before… Hang on, isn’t it the academic equivalent of “It’s not you, it’s me”?
They could have simply said, “Your work isn’t the right fit for us.” But why be clear when you can leave the writer hanging, flattered yet rejected, wondering if maybe – just maybe – they still have a chance.
At least now, if you ever have to say no to someone, you have a dramatic new way to do it. Just don’t forget to beg for their forgiveness a thousand times.
Source: The translation of the rejection slip was shared by Writer and translator Estelle Gilson, originally mentioned in Sweet Theft: A Poet’s Commonplace Book by J.D. McClatchy and later in James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter.
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